Can anyone relate?? What to doooo?

Ok soo im 20 years old. Since i was 12 years old ive been in love and dating my ex John. Weve always been like best friends and weve been each others only serious relationship. Over the years its been on and off... mostly on. He was going to jail a lot to over the yrs. I love him very much and seems like im not happy when i dont have him but he just go tout of jail again and hes not doing anything with his life...so i left him... but i still find myself wanting to be with him and sometimes its all i can think of. What do i dooo??